I Thought He Was a Speed Bump

Most people in this country hurry too much. I know, because I have been one of them…

Most people in this country hurry too much. I know, because I have been one of them. For much of my adult life, I have broken dozens of glasses and plates each year while whipping them into and out of the dishwasher, thinking all the while ‘Get it done, get it done.’ I began to realize that this was perhaps not the right way to live when I got to thinking one day about what they might inscribe upon my tombstone.

I had seen a few memorable epitaphs along the way: “The Father of Cheap Postage,” on a gravestone in Cambridge, Massachusetts; and “I Told You I was Sick,” on one in Key West. When I realized that “She Got A Lot Done” might well be the most they could chisel onto my little wedge of granite when the time came, I began to think it might be time to try living another way. And so, for these last few years, between the crashes and the shatterings - no one changes overnight - I have taken time out each week to sit down and write about whatever crosses my radar, whether it be joy or sorrow or the hemorrhaging of household appliances.”

So begins this collection of reader-favorite columns, with its varied chapter headings ("Latin For the Not Yet Dead," "Bum Bum!" and "When Will Dad Become a Woman?") all centered around the theme of slowing down in a world where we "drive" so fast we hardly know what - or in the story which gives the book it title - who, we are driving over.

Praise for I Thought He Was a Speed Bump:

Terry: I do not write fan letters. However, after reading your book I just felt I had to drop you a line. I read a lot in my retirement and so many of the books today, although well written, are depressing and seem to glorify the negative side of life. Your book glorified the positive - all those delightful little moments we too often take for granted. You said for me what I feel in my heart and don't manage to get into words. I laughed and cried. Your book brought me as sense of connectedness and a sense of joy; you made my soul sing.

- Barbara W.

Motherhood capsuled in a witty weekly column is now accumulated for all those who missed the first airings in The Boston Globe and The Christian Science Monitor. Marotta's words of humor and wisdom veer from the mundane to the funny to the somberly philosophical. Certainly, there is plenty to identify with in these tales of an anniversary celebration replaced by a slumber party, a field trip enhanced by boyish pranks, and family dinners that take place in front of--and take the form of--TV situation comedies. Entertaining.

- Denise Perry Donavin, Booklist

A delightful valentine. Marotta's observations are rife with gentle wit and an enviable wisdom.

- The Boston Globe

Self-syndicated newspaper columnist Marotta, who has written for Woman's Day and Parents , here offers some 50 of her brief and gently humorous columns written over 10 years. Exploring the vagaries and vicissitudes of middle-class family life, Marotta writes breezily readable prose. She can wring a column out of the battle to fight her penchant for cleaning, out of Christmas cards that boast of their senders' good fortune and out of the fun she finds in daily encounters. We meet her children--``two long-legged fawns and a little squat gnome''--and learn how they grow up. Surely readers will identify with children who mangle Christmas songs into lines like ``Round John Virgin'' and convert the Lord's Prayer into ``Harold be thy name.'' Occasionally, Marotta reveals a bit more edge to her wit, declaring that the Latinate phrase ``Ibid.'' means ``boy am I sick of writing this paper,'' and likening the issue of young children's grasp of sex to the old Watergate question: ``What Do They Know and When Did They Know It.''

- Publishers Weekly

This collection of columns by syndicated columnist Terry Marotta reminds us of the humor and drama in everyday life, and that nothing is so important as laughter, love, and family. Marotta has a gift for the one-liner and for the big picture. It made me wish I was a member of the Marotta household. I eagerly await the next collection.

- Amazon User