Shortest Day

Today is that shortest day you felt coming way back in  summer. Now there'll be brighter mornings, and longer afternoons, with the snow all  coral-colored in the sun, pale indigo in the shadows, like this picture, snapped one morning after a snowstorm.Maybe you love the early dawns of summer, but it's funny: sometimes you love these dark mornings more. You wake early and lie a long time thinking. Maybe you remember your babyhood; remember lying in your crib, having your pants changed, sitting in your high chair. Not many can do this but you can and sometimes, sometimes, on these dark dark mornings you think you are little still and it’s all getting ready to start again, like movies do at the Cineplex.Instead you are what? Three-quarters, four-fifths of the way  through your  life? In the mirror you still look like yourself but not in photos. Not in shop windows. It shocks you to see what time has done and you understand finally what your mother meant about all young people being beautiful with their full cheeks and their strong white teeth.On summer noontimes this change might bother you but not in this early morning darkness. You lie in the bed and the room is cool and the street it utterly quiet. Tomorrow  Nature wall begin her great slow cartwheel and you will ride on her back into your future. Not today though. Today you're the child  not yet born, all calm and still and patiently waiting.