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“Because once you depart from this one-way road of life, there is just no getting back on.”

humor Terrry Marotta humor Terrry Marotta

Seasonal Sneezing

Seasonal allergies are worse than labor. At least labor eventually ends, you get a heated blanket and everyone tells you to Just Rest Dear.

It’s been a BAD year for them all right. We’ve had so much pollen that when you go outside mornings your car looks like my kitchen looked that time I accidentally left the top of the blender off while trying to whip up a batch of guacamole.

The thing is, when your nose gets stuffed up it’s a torture. The last time I was afflicted this way I took some drug that turns out to be the very last thing you should take because it has a rebound effect.

“Hell, never take that stuff!" someone posted in a chat room about it”

“Throw it away!” another wrote. “If you can’t go cold turkey, use it one nostril and the next night in the other,” somebody else said.

“Use Benadryl instead...” “Eat raw foods only.”

I remember thinking I might as WELL eat only raw foods since I couldn’t taste anything anyway

The night of this last spell I was up for hours and didn’t finally crawl into bed for keeps until 4am, at which point Old Dave (who I despise because he can sleep ha ha) opened one eye.

“I’m dying!” I croaked.

“Nobody ever died from lack of sleep,” said the brute.

“But I have chest pain too! And I think it’s radiating down my arm!” I improvised

“TT,” he said, patting my arm. “Old TT!” That’s been his name for me forever.

That’s the thing with physical suffering. You’re just so alone with it.

Anyway… Here’s how the parking lot outside my dermatologist's looked the other day: a ballet of pollen. I even gave it a little soundtrack. My hand is kinda shaking but that's what it does to you. The Zapruder Film all over again.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUWzT-jZ0xI&feature=youtu.be]

This was three days ago.. I'm almost afraid to say this but maybe, just maybe, it’s almost done now what with all the rain we’ve had. Do we dare hope? Do we?

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