Enjoy ALL Da Holidays - BLEAGGHHHH!

Last week at the supermarket I came upon a bin of a half-price Halloween stuff which was exciting for me since I'm always JUST A LITTLE late for every holiday besides which: I do love a skeleton.

I'd just begun examining one bald and clattery dude, thinking maybe THIS is what I can use to explain the pelvis to little Eddie Marotta, four, when suddenly the meat guy heaved out of the back room, bloody apron and all, and hollered “Buy him! The guy is crying out for you to buy him!” - and pressed a button on the top of this dude's plastic noggin and what do you think? - he stuck out a six-inch tongue and said something sort of harsh and smart-aleck-y in the voice of a Rodney-Dangerfield-style comic.

I bought him on the spot and he rode around in my van for six days, his bony feet and his domed skull just peeking out from the top of the shopping bag. Then yesterday he came inside for our uncle’s 88^th birthday party.

Little Eddie was there but he didn’t make much of him – kids are so over these talking toys with their microchips and their scripted remarks. His innocent angel of an 18-month-old brother, however, took one horrified look and practically jumped clear out of his Pampers.

As to the rest of the fam, they just shook their heads and said it was a pity SOME people didn’t understand that these were hard economic times and excuse me but what happened to restraint? TERRY?

They were just jealous, the losers. They're always jealous.

Luckily they were all cleared out by 9 o’clock this morning when I set my buddy up in a coupla different spots and took some pictures. You see him silent at the top and delivering one of his jokes here below.  I'm leaving him around til Christmas Eve I think when I finally put up the tree because, face it, the guy is so suave already; just think how great he’ll look in an ascot and Santa hat, clutching a big old cup of egg nog!

"Hit me!"