Medium Well Done?

This 'medium' I went to see last night with my pals Janet and Robin was, like most mediums, a person who departed spirits can COME THROUGH to say reassuring things to us saps left holding the bag here. Like Patricia Arquette in the TV show, only without the cute little protruding eye teeth and the crimes. This lady doesn’t DO crimes so much as she envisions lots of floral arrangements. Also poses keenly insightful questions to the audience members who stand tremulously, offering their meek necks to her X-ray vision. Also Manner-of-Death as in “I see something …sudden? Was it sudden, the death of this person you just told me got flattened by a falling anvil?” “Did your mother have hair on her head at all, Charlene?” Our tickets were free but I heard tell some folks paid $38.50.

We lasted less than an hour. Well, l lasted 15 minutes, then fell deeply asleep. We revived once we got outside when Robin started talkin’ trash again (scroll down one for that!)

We always have fun we’re together. That's Janet and a deranged person up top here, posing before some street art in Paris the City of Lights. I’ll look for a picture of Robin now to add here at the end, hold the phone. I THINK I have one of her on her wedding day in our back yard. If memory serves her gown is hiked halfway up those long legs and she’s doing the limbo...... Hmmmm, nope. This picture is the closest I can come to showing what she's like. We danced in the streets. Her groom Dan, back-to, has been dancing ever since.

Girls' Night Out

Last night I went out with Robin and Janet, both some seven or eight years younger than me and two of  my dearest friends in this town. We had free tickets to see a medium contact dead people and we figured Hey a meal out, a couple of drinks, and fun in the car driving up and back – why not?

Janet is five-two with hips smaller than a seventh-grade boy. “Bitch!” a lesser woman would say to herself walking behind her. She can and does play bridge, manage the investment portfolios of stranger, bowl a higher score than 99% of the male population and speak truth to power.

Robin is like Janet in that she takes no prisoners. She’s five nine and has the longest legs in the greater Boston area, a waist as tiny as Janet’s waist and hips that flare out from that waist in such a way as to make grown men weak in the knees. Mostly though, Robin is blunt.

She had a filmy V-neck blouse on that she said kept gapping open to reveal a slight imperfection in her left breast. This imperfection grieves her.

“I can’t even see it!” exclaimed Janet, looking. “You will!” said Robin.  “I’ll be flashing six seven times tonight.”

She and Janet had cosmopolitans at dinner.  “What IS a cosmopolitan anyway?” I asked,” “Girly martini,” Robin said, lifting her glass to my lips.  Then we made fun of men for a while, finished our dinners, and set out to walk the quarter mile to the theatre where the medium would be doing her stuff.

At the biggest intersection in this fair-sized city we waited at a light that seemed designed to NEVER let a pedestrians cross. We stood and stood with a handful of other theatre-bound women just behind us until Janet showed leadership, stepping into the thoroughfare just as the light turned green for the opposing team so to speak.

I nodded apologetically and scuttled across. It was the wrong thing, the nod,  and I knew it as soon as I did it, Because suddenly a horn was blaring and a young guy in the car barreling through yelled “Way to cross a street you old biddies!” It was my entire fault for the apologetic head bob.

Janet frosted the guy by walking on in queenly fashion.  But Robin yelled “Whaaat?” wheeled around, and said “Let’s run the fool down and pound on his hood!”

We didn’t though. We went like meek lambs to our show. Afterward Robin said “Let’s have a couple of cocktails and shoot the breeze some more.” She was kidding I guess. Because less than 40 minutes later we were dropping her off at her back door behind which her husband was probably still at his desk and her kids were doing homework and her dog Blue was listening listening listening for her footsteps.