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“Because once you depart from this one-way road of life, there is just no getting back on.”

humor Terrry Marotta humor Terrry Marotta

It Came It Saw, It Went Away Again

busted old fridgeThis was Day Six with no refrigerator. The start of that tale is here.

The new one came, it saw, and it went away again. What did it see, you might ask? It saw it couldn't fit into the kitchen.

"Sorry," the three delivery guys said after ten minutes of chin scratching,  "It's just not gonna happen."

"But..." I sputtered. "The old fridge is the same make and model. I mean we didn't build the kitchen around it!"

"Ah but see you got handles projecting from this new one. You didn't have handles with the old one."

"So let's take the handles off."

"Can't do that. It voids the warranty."

I was alone with these guys so I said “Let me just called my husband at work.” I called Old Dave and told him the situation.

“Tell them to take off the door from the dining room,” he said in that annoyingly reasonable way a person has who, though not present, is giving advice to people who are.

"We tried that. It’s not gonna fit."

“The back door then."

“Tried it."

“The porch door."

“Tried it. (Do you think we’re idiots?’ I thought about saying, suddenly siding with my new pals the delivery guys.)

"Why don’t YOU talk to them," I said and handed the phone to one of the men.

"Hi! So what do you think? What can we do?“ he asked them.

“Well there is one door. The one leading from the living room.” Then the man holding my phone half-turned to me too, out of courtesy I think .“You folks will have to  call someone to take off the door and pull out the radiator."

"WE can do THAT," I snorted. "We've been taking off doors and pulling out radiators for years."

"But this swinging door with this big iron spring? I've never seen a door like THIS door and I'm 31!" I didn't say that the house was four times older than that. I knew it though, and knew that the spring was original to the house.

“Ok then so we'll get the door off and move the radiator and then call you guys back over.”

“You know you have to drain the whole system,” he said

“We do it all the time,” I said.

And so they left. and took our new fridge but tell ya what: Twenty-four hours later the door was OFF and the system was all drained, We moved the radiator too, three ton thing that it is, and yes entered another week without a fridge-  but somehow felt triumphant just the same.

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