Weekend Report

First I see True Grit Friday night. Love it. Eat out after, also lovin' that little-girl lobster swimmin’ in the tank five minutes before. Saturday go to play Laser Tag, then don’t actually play because remember am probably not that great in large dark room teeming with teens, stoked dads and galloping ten-year-olds. Also, wearing suede boots with pointy toes. Also, three weeks away from getting into the movies for half price. Instead, watch the guys I've brought go in, come out, brag, tease, sneer, gloat, hoot and go back in. Testosterone rules! Burger King after.Then right to the Coco Key Indoor Water Resort in Crowne Plaza Hotel, due for an update bigtime, cinder block walls, no curtain on windows but wait! Is this that federal prison at Danbury? Did I committee some white-collar crime I've forgotten about?  Or is this Bedford Hills Correctional Facility and I’m boarding school headmistress Jean Harris who killed that diet doc and if so where are my pearls?  No no. I'm just my same old self in a swimsuit now and getting ready to see what 600 winter-weary people DO in a place heated to 90 degrees with tubs, falls, lagoons and whirlpools. Put yoga togs over swimsuit and head on down.Keep yoga gear on. See more bare flesh than you’ll see even in Vegas, possibly even on Riviera. Seas of flesh and on some pretty hefty people. Tubing aplenty, shrieks, water dumping on unsuspecting heads. Pizza Hut right in here with us, full bar too. Six hundred wet heads, six thousand wiggling piggy-toes, waterproof chairs as far as the eye can see.  I offer to hold boys’ towels and mind their flip-flops. Do that. Read my book. Ah!Then here comes old Dave to take one for the team by sleeping over with us. The hours pass. The lads grow sleepy. Three have varsity basketball practice 10 sharp Sunday morning. Another three wrestled for six hours this day, thus missing all of laser tag and most of water park. 10pm finds us all in our rooms, they curled up in theirs with snack foods and television. Dave and I curled up in ours, out cold before our heads even hit the pillow. Breakfast of fresh fruits and bagels in the morning and back to the old hometown for Sunday homework. I write a column, post to my blog, drive to daughter Annie’s house for yummy indoor barbecue, home-made fries, strawberry shortcake. Old Dave opts out, citing need to recover from all that youthful fun. I home again at 8, lights out at 10, tubing and arcade footage still swimming in head. G-O-O-O-D,  G-O-O-O-D WEEKEND, good weekend! :-)

our man Hazees, king among high scoring laser-taggers