No Problem Too Big

I take just one drug in a teeny-tiny dose every morning which is said to save me from indolence, obesity and a persistent sadness whose most visible sign is something called “shark mouth.” Its  side effects meanwhile? Only the usual array: sleep problems, nervousness, sweating, and increase in both appetite and weight. Small potatoes if only there weren't now several new challenges in my life, among them:

One: I spill on myself. It’s like when I was pregnant and my arms weren’t long enough to get the food to my mouth, only now I spill because I eat while sitting at my keyboard which I have to do because of my commitment to keep bringing twinkly prose to a weary world. My solution: I wear a bibbed chef’s apron whenever I sit down to write. Instant fix! And it looks pretty comical too, especially when it’s only over my bra. (“What’s THIS?” said Dave the first time he saw it last week.) This picture here gives you the idea though I guess the baby isn’t mine. Or the apron. Or the body.

Two:  The bathroom is now entirely too far away for me to get the aspirin I so badly need nights as my little broken kite of body torques around a progressively twisted spine. Also, it’s too far way to get the coffee I need immediately on waking. I long ago set up a coffee pot in the bathroom because the kitchen was WAY too far away but now the bathroom seems too far too. What I want is to get that coffee pot right next to my bed so it’ll be like that scene at the beginning of "Pee Wee’s Big Adventure" where he wakes up and here is his breakfast cooked and delivered by a series of clever little gadgets. You can see that below if you can bear to watch Pee Wee, the sly fox, building a career by mocking childhood. (Anyway that’s what Mr. Rogers said about him and I believe everything Mr. Rogers ever said.)

To see what shark mouth looks like click here.  Meanwhile, enjoy the idiot Pee Wee. Oh and my Levoxyl-requiring disease? Mild hypothyroidism AKA Hashimoto's. No big deal. In fact as common as ants at a picnic so..... once again today I'm feeling grateful!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYyD55elKJA]