Fall Fashions

About.com, which is doubtless produced by some lazy bunch of bloggers in their PJs, has issued a list of Clothing Must Haves for fall and on that list are:

• The Fitted Jacket, seen here: Just add a hat the size of your average house cat and you have the dear old Queen of England.
• The White Shirt: OK who doesn’t have that, right? Even if it is pilfered from some man's closet. in which case you call it a “Boyfriend Shirt.”
• Plaid, of any kind presumably: Will my old Catholic-school uniform do?
• The Turtleneck Sweater: Do I mind looking like Velma from Scooby Doo?
• The Neutral Coat:  No prob. My coats haven’t taken sides since Ross Perot ran for President.
• The Black Pantsuit, Which Can Be Rendered Dressier with Heels and a Sexy Cami: Score! Got one 20 years ago spending more money for it than for anything except that used Dodge Dart I started adult life with,  and don’t I still wear it today albeit with some blood sweat and tears at zippertime.
• Pearls: Got ‘em, in Plain and Peanut variety (which is to say fake and faker.)
• Tall Boots: Check. Got the very ones I once wore with that super-cute black-crepe hot-pants get-up.
• Large Leather Bag: Check and double-check and it’s fine if it’s really plastic and holds a Spidey toy and some spare pacifiers, right?
• The Sheath Dress: OK so the sheath dresses are kind of in the back of the closet right now since I’ve been going for a somewhat roomier cut lately kind of like this chick's nightgown and wait how did she find her way onto a cool blog like this? There’s the trouble with the Interne right there: no boundaries. No boundaries at all.