He Licks the Kids

THIS is why you can never let your guard down: because the world will see you for the numbskull you are. This is also why I spend at least the first 48 hours of any vacation working. I just feel like How can I  just....‘let go’ when so much of what I put out in the world goes before me carrying a sign reading “An Idiot Did This”?I let my guard down so much the other night I never gave a final edit to what I had written to post here yesterday which turned out to be sheer gobbledygook, with dropped words, extra words, wordy words. And to make matters worse by the time I woke at 6am and saw it on my Blackberry – I'd scheduled it to go up onto the Web at 4am – our Internet had gone down, thanks to a string of wild country rainstorms that tossed buckets of rain right through the screens and onto all our floors. It's OK now but I couldn’t fix any of the mistakes until 1pm, so there they all stood showing the world my true colors and reminding me of all those other times: the time I walked into my Fifth Grade classroom with the back of my skirt tucked into my underpants; the time I wrote an email seriously slamming someone and then sent it to that someone by mistake; the time in the airport bathroom I saw myself trying to fold a few squares of toilet paper into my wallet and realized too late that I’d just flushed a fistful of dollars.I know I should just let go more and learn to laugh at myself - but then I remember that letter of reference I once wrote for someone under my supervision now in search of a teaching job. I've always been a terrible typist and this was back in the days before computers so there it stood: “He licks the kids and the kids lick him.” What can we say about a dope like this except 'Send her away even longer and hope she grows a brain'?