Enough with the Reproducing

It was all very well a few weeks back when this mother dove made her nest on my office windowsill and soon produced two hairy looking THINGS who dangled from her mouth to eat her regurgitated meals. I’ll admit that when they  grew and left the nest I thought “Whew!” Not that they weren’t charming  but the more time passed the higher the pile of droppings underneath them. Things were getting a little ripe just six feet from my desk.Then not a week after they all left,  doesn't Mom come back? And didn’t Poppa show up too and begin doing this little dance, prelude to The Act. Then sure enough in another 10 days there were more eggs.Now Mom has starting making little forays away from the nest, and, seems to be scanning the horizon for cleaner pastures. My plan for the minute she goes? Hoist the hose up, train it on this windowsill to wash away the smelly muck, then hang a couple of shiny CDs out there, which birds find scary and  repellent. It's not that I dont' like birds' I'd really like to be able to open the window a few times before the snow flies again. And also Sister-Mom, I think you could use some help with family planning. And finally, take it from me, babe: there are way easier ways to feed the kids than what you've got goin'.