Writers Unite

In the first official moment of our conference here in Indiana, President  Samantha Bennett began by directing our attention to the Proclamation issued by the governor  congratulating the NSNC on its 43rd convention and touting the importance of us columnists to life as we know it.  “Take a look," Sam said,  "it’s very impressive, very whereas-heavy. There’s a laminated copy in the hospitality suite, a place where, come to think of it, I myself have been laminated on more than one occasion”Not here in Bloomington of course. Our conferences have been held in cities from one coast to another with plenty of stops in between. The first one I came to, motivated as much by the chance to get away from diaper-changing as to collect my small writing-contest prize was in the charming seaside village of Mystic CT. Back then, the membership was heavily and getting  laminated in the hospitality suite seemed almost normal. Now that we’re more than 50% women we’re all nurturing each other in the hospitality suite  and the friskiest thing that happens is that sometimes  Sam executes a few of her famous handsprings which you certainly couldn’t do drunk.Anyway we had a day crammed full of  presentations, were on everything from writing with snap and precision to considering how sadly little humans seem to learn from history and how Dorothy Parker was right. (It’s not that it's one damn thing after another in this life; it’s that it's the same damn thing over and over.) We had live piano music, a panel on Intolerance and Conflict, a killer lunch with the Roll Call of the States. (“Massachusetts,”  Sam belted out calling on my delegation, “Now with one-third fewer Kennedys!” alas alas.)Pulitzer-prize-winning editorial cartoonist Joel Pett gave an illustrated talk and a researcher from the famous Kinsey Institute answered our sex questions. Oh and political satirist  Rick Horowitz led us in a topical song of his own inventing with eight good-sport volunteers holding placards to cue us on the words. In fact give a listen:  That’s Rick on the right in the Hawaiian shirt . Over the left is our girl Sam. And in the middle on the screen? well that’s the topic of Rick’s song, the oil spill which is  keeping columnists and commentators everywhere  busy, plying that ‘pen warmed up in hell” that Mark Twain says we should  pull out anytime people in positions of trust go all venal and self-seeking on us.[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iU3-vtZSKg]