Girls Gone Wild My Foot

The worst thing about a bad hotel is when you can sense the ghosts of previous guests in it  - and when I say “sense” I mean “smell” as in the smell of all the disinfectant it takes to banish them. The smell in my hotel room last night was acrid, overpowering. “The windows don’t actually open,” the clerk had said to me when I checked . ‘That’s OK,’ I aid blithely back, thinking ‘I’ll just crank the AC.’   Who knew the AC would be so busted and the smell so sharp  that this morning  my lungs feel burned?  All night I kept looking out at my car in the parking lot. and wondering why I didn’t  just go out and sleep in it.Two key observations this morning:(1) Tylenol PM doesn’t work AT ALL until about 2 hours before you have to get up when it holds you under like a drowning victim at the hands of his murderer.(2) You think a lot less of HBO when you see the ridiculous porn they screen late at night.  Pity the males addicted to these images; how can we tell them that it’s the old bait-and-switch? That they’re never going to find women like the ones they see on their various screens wearing nothing but stiletto-heeled boots and fondling their own breasts? I hate to crush your illusions guys but women just aren’t that interested in the auto-erotic, just like God is not that interested in Football.  If you’re a 14-year old male you may think the best fun adults can have involves a lot of bouncing and yipping but it just isn’t so. Sure, in the state of arousal all else falls away but that’s Nature’s trick to get what Nature’s really after which is: procreation.  There’s a thing called 'the erotic trance' and the decisions you make when you’re in it often seem a tad  ... questionable once it passes. Even those half-naked 20-year-olds in their Naughty-Schoolgirl get-ups will tell you: Women are nesters and tidy-up-ers . After sex we mostly feel like…. vacuuming! :-)