I Wouldn't Trade

Just so you know, that sailing trip I took last week wasn’t some lazybones cruise where you’re always waddling to the midnight chocolate buffet. It was a lean mean expedition where the rules were all about having the smallest possible impact on our poor little planet.  Example One: right from the start you were told straight up how UNCOOL it would be to wander around your little stateroom brushing your teeth and looking for your underpants with the water in the sink even on 'trickle'. Example Two: you couldn’t flush your toilet paper ever, which is evidently the norm in many parts of Europe.  In fact sometimes all they have are ‘Turkish toilets,’ plain old holes in the ground over which you have to stand to relieve yourself, which can make you feel pret-ty peeved if you’re among the unlucky half of the human race NOT equipped with one of those dandy retractable gadgets the other half is so vain about.Here’s some comfort though: On a morning’s trek through the ragged terrain of one Greek isle, the expedition’s botanist pointed out the female of the cochineal bug, which (a) lives on the prickly pear cactus, (b) secretes white fuzzy stuff  and (c) when squashed, yields up the deep red-dye that was first used by the Aztecs but after the arrival of those pesky Conquistadors became All The Rage back in the Old World too.But it wasn’t until we were back  on the ship eating lunch with this same botanist that I learned the best part: the male of this species lives so very briefly - only long enough to get the female pregnant - that God didn’t even give him a mouth. So BOTTOMS UP and pass the popcorn, girls! Turns out there are compensation after all!

(some critters really don't have mouths!)

Also: to see what these little kids at the top are saying click here