Jiggling Eyeballs
No sleep the night before last. Forced to try old trick of hanging head off edge of bed while watching old movies upside down. Ten minutes of Deborah Kerr with hairdo like a Chia Pet’s and am out cold. But whoops deadline day so up at 5 to write with manic panic. Break at 8 to bring ill-fitting clothes to tailor Bob who cut off his ponytail. Needs to attract the ladies again, says. Uses internet, says. Finds it all quite the task since main thing you need to find out fast is, Are they fat. Says you take 100 women over age 50, only six are attractive.
Am entertained if offended for the sisterhood. Then Look at watch. Cold sweat starts run down sides. Race home, coffee up, resume madly writing then oops it’s 11. Column done and filed but 87-year-old uncle sitting in his apartment for an hour waiting.
Go get him. Buy food for our quick day-trip/ field-trip north to the summer place. Score food for the journey. Stuff cats in their carriers, pop ‘em in the car. Get gas and drive 90 miles up I-93, making wider loop for sake of scenery. Take wrong turn off 104 seeking yet more cows and horses; 45 minutes extra for scenery more dubious. Bladder distress for cats, man 87, woman over 50 wondering could she could POSSIBLY be one of six if she wets her pants.
Get to the lake at last whew, ahead of every other family member. Within ten minutes husband arrives. Then chef daughter Annie. Then daughter Carrie with spouse Christine, stroller, bibs, young'uns. One person gets sand in pants. One tried eating rocks. Uncle has couple belts. Carrie and Chris cook up youth foods. Carrie hops in shower in sports bra 'n bikini briefs, one child at the knee and one in arms. I feed Uncle. Husband David inspects beach sand for squirrel BMs. Annie produces 15 golden-trumpeted squash blossoms from farmers market, begins stuffing with ricotta cheese to bread and deep-fry. Uncle and I can't stay. Drive 90 miles south. Drop him his apartment 9:35. Tear to the mall before 10, hoping to get busted phone looked at, hopefully fixed. “This little machine is DEAD" says gum-chewing tech at Verizon Store. Store closing now, grill coming down; no more Blackberries like this in stock anyway.
Wobble homeward, thinking of them all at summer place. Iron for reasons unknown. Turn out light midnight so as to be up at 5 and back on the road by 6 to do child care with Auntie Chef Annie and Dave while Carrie and Chris leave kids behind to go to a wedding. 6:30 now, late again here. Eyeballs jiggling. Headache and back pain. 6:45, get in car. Picture family all still sleeping, old guys fishin' in cove. All this Just 90 miles to the north. Be back up there in no time. Picture sun just warming deck and loons up and off for breakfast.
