Dyein' it Terry-style

I love dyeing stuff. Every few months I have an urge to change the color of things and so dye the towels, my clothes, even the lampshades if I don’t like the way they look on a particular day; then sometimes, well most of the time actually, I end up making the colors perhaps a little TOO vivid and have to try toning them down with a quart of Clorox.

It’s a wonderful way to pass the time and it’s what I’m doing right now. Today here at the lake I’ve been dyeing lampshades, a process that involves:

A) filling the bathtub with hot water; adding the liquid RIT - and never, EVER use the powdered form which, careful as you might be, fills the air with so much richly-hued dust the next thing you know your nostril hairs AND the cat’s whiskers are a bright crimson;

B) taking the lampshade, dipping it very quickly in the dye and rolling it around for evenness; then

C) getting it out of that water FAST so it can dry before all the glue that holds on all the ornamental braiding dissolves.

The whole thing takes ten minutes, tops, the only drawback being if you yourself have to step in the tub in which you come out dark red from the knees down and look as though you’ve been murdered, then stuck in a closet standing up til all your blood pooled in your lower extremities… But LET’S ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE HERE FOLKS and instead of showing a picture of my lower legs how about one of these lampshades! Pretty sweet, eh? SUNSET PINK! And all for a mere $3.79 a bottle!