Dear Diarrhea

Sun, rain, sun: yesterday was of those days I guess. One hour it was 80 and sunny here and I was thinking how I really should go outside and scrub the patio chairs and then – boom! - the heavens opened and the rain drummed so hard the lilacs on their bushes knelt right down flat like obsequious courtiers and yay I was off the hook for the scrubbing anyway.

Somebody said this about blogging: Nobody cares what you had for lunch; they just want to know what you’re thinking and feeling. (Could this possibly be true? Should we ask everyone who read about Gawker editor and blogger Emily Gould in the New York Times Magazine Sunday?)

But OK I’ll play along: At the moment I’m thinking about how happy I felt at the airport after my visit to my pal Bobbie last week – until an old lady with blue hair pulled out a cell phone and starting talking.

Loudly. And for quite a while. “MAUDE? WELL YES MAUDE I GOT THE DIARRHEA DON’T YA KNOW BUT I’M TRYIN' TO HOLD IT TOGETHER HERE!”

At first I thought, “I won’t look over at her, I don’t want to embarrass her.” Then, five minutes later I stole some little glances at the other people there at the gate to see if anyone else thought this was as funny as I did. "Nothin’ doin’ there. Then five minutes after that I thought 'What the HELL lady!' and I did look at her, neutrally the way you have to so the person you’re looking at doesn’t jump up and beat you to death with his carry-on bag - and the woman paid absolutely no attention but rather made a second phone call to a second friend and began again with her fascinating account.

So there it is: sun and clouds on just about any day you care to name… and that’s what I’m thinking right now. And oh right, I almost forgot: Yesterday it was tuna salad, a handful of almonds and a chaser of Crystal Lite - and you?